3R

siguro alam na ng karamihan na may pagka-maldito ako. alam ko, for a masseur, maling ugali yun. kasi dapat mabait. dapat submissive. dapat hindi masungit. dapat palaging friendly at maunawain sa mga clients. dapat hindi mayabang. and, para mas effective, dapat palaging kawawa at kaawa-awa.


but not me. i'd rather stick to my usual self. and, although most times eh na-o-off sa akin yung karamihan ng mga nag-i-inquire, may iba namang natutuwa.

nagpapakatotoo lang po. tsaka... minsan naman kasi, kasungit-sungit talaga yung mga pangyayari eh!


ilang linggo nang nagtatanong si Sir Raymart para magtanong ng usual questions like rates, services, and availability. sumagot naman ako as usual. and then he promised that kinabukasan daw (since it's a weekend), he will book me. edi natuwa naman ako.

kinabukasan, i texted him, and he told me na hindi daw pwede dahil may kailangan daw syang puntahan na binyagan. bukas na lang daw (sunday).

nagtext ulit ako, hoping na pwede na sya. but he, again, cancelled. may kailangan daw syang asikasuhin sa work. so hinayaan ko na lang.


in the middle of the week, nagtext na naman si Sir Raymart. tinatanong kung available daw ako right at that moment. so ako naman, sumagot na hindi ako pwede kasi nasa work ako. then he asked me kung pwede daw ako kinabukasan, i declined because i also have shift. natawa na lang ako sa naging sagot nya.

"edi mag-file ka ng leave!"

wow! mag-file ng leave for booking. kung dati, pasaway ako, gagawin ko yun. but not now. alam kong dragging na ang work, but i will still do my best to do good here.

in short, hindi pa rin kami natuloy.

paulit-ulit ang routine ng texting namin, at sa nakakatakang pagkakataon, hindi sya nawawalan ng lakad during the weekend. movie and dinner with friends, family bonding, kasal ng pinsan, outing with workmates, meeting with bosses, and fliptop session with Kimpoy Feliciano! masyadong masaya ang buhay ni Sir Raymart, mas busy pa sya kaysa kay Kuya Germs.

nagkataon na ngayong linggong ito ay spilt off ako (meaning, may isang weekday restday in exchange of reporting to work on a saturday). nagtext si Sir Raymart, nagtanong kung nasaan daw ako.

"haus po. restday."
"ah talaga?"
"yup. y?"
"san ba house mo?"
"pasig cainta"
"okay. ilang minutes ka makakarating if i invite you over?"
"saan ba yung place?"
"sa cubao."
"okay. mga one hour" (kasi, that time, i'm having breakfast at hindi pa ako naliligo)
"ay. ang tagal naman."
"i can manage kahit 45 minutes. or mag-taxi na lang ako."
"hindi ba kaya ng 30 minutes?"
"i can try. but i cannot guarantee."
"masyado na kasing late kung 45 minutes or one hour. i have to sleep pa since i have work later."

napaisip ako... ganung kalaki ba yung impact ng 15-minute difference? i replied.

"eh 15 minutes lang naman eh."

at dun na sya nag-litanya na kesyo kailangan daw kasi nyang matulog dahil may work daw sya and he cannot afford to lack sleep dahil nagiging iritable daw sya. sayang daw at naka-check-in na sya. bakit daw ba kasi ang tagal bago ako makarating. dito na uminit ang ulo ko. para bang kasalanan ko pa na hindi ko kayang dumating ng cubao in 30 minutes or less.

"i'm having breakfast kasi. tsaka hindi pa ako naliligo."
"ganun? eh bakit hindi ka pa naligo?"
"kakagising ko lang eh."
"hindi ka muna naligo before having breakfast?"

hindi ko na pinatulan yung tanong, kasi sure fire way yun para pag-initin ang ulo ko. pero kailangan ko syang mapilit to book an appointment. i have 50 pesos in my wallet, so kailangang kailangan ko talaga ng pera.

"ayaw mo ba paservice now? i can rush there naman eh."
"inaantok na kasi ako. plus yun nga, i have to sleep. i cannot afford to wait an hour" (during that time, mga 15 minutes na kaming magkatext.)
"aww... okay."
"bukas ba, may pasok ka?"
"yes."
"can you go on leave?"
"i can. but i won't."
"why?"
"hindi ako magli-leave para lang sa booking. tsaka, baka mamaya, bigla mong i-cancel dahil kailangan mong matulog."
"ano ba naman yan! lagi ka na lang hindi available."

dito na ako nagsimulang mag-init... in a bad way!

"eh ikaw nga itong nagpapabook lagi, then nagka-cancel because of appointments. then ako pa ang sisisihin mo?"
"hindi kasi ako pwede this weekend and next weekend eh. this saturday, kasal ng pinsan ko (ang dami nya namang pinsan na ikinakasal... sukob sukob na) and then sa sunday, i'm going out with friends. next weekend naman, kasal ng high school friend ko, and buong weekend ang sakop nun (dili kaya kupido si Sir Raymart? ang daming kasalan na involved sya! o baka naman,. pari sya!)"
"okay. i still don't have my schedules for next month eh."
"then how will i book you?"
"pwede ako today."
"eh i still have to sleep pa nga. ang tagal pa bago ka dumating." (time check... 30 minutes na kaming magkatext)
"fine. hindi ko na ipipilit. magmumukha lang akong tanga."
"kaya nga mag-leave ka for tomorrow."
"no, thanks."
"what's your sched? so i can check and book an appointment with you."
"there's no sense. masyado kang busy eh. and besides, this booking is not a priority naman. siguro, by next year, pwede ka na."
"i understand your point. pero kasi hindi talaga ako pwede now eh. sleeping is my best friend, so losing a few minutes of it means a lot talaga." (and during that time, nasa 45 minutes na kaming magkatext, mabagal sya magreply)
"kaya nga wag na nating ipilit eh. and, i just realized, kung hindi ka nag-inarte kanina at pinapunta mo ako, nandyan na ako ngayon."
"hehehe... next time then."
"yyssw" (yeah yeah, sure sure, whatever)
"don't be mad. talagang nagkataon lang na di pwede ngayon."
"oo nga eh! hindi pwede dati! hindi pwede ngayon! lagi na lang hindi pwede."
"eh wrong timing ka kasi eh."
"oh... yeah... tama nga naman... AKO NGA NAMAN ANG WRONG TIMING"
"anong magagawa ko if i have appointments during weekends?"
"well... be a little respectful enough to not book an appointment with me? kaysa naman nagpapa-schedule ka, and then you will cancel it last minute because of an appointment. call it professionalism."
"nice naman to hear about professionalism from someone like you."
"which makes me a better person than you. at least, ako, kahit masahista lang, marunong rumespeto ng tao. ikaw, yuppie ka nga, bastos naman."

and i decided to not reply to his next messages which is full of pagpapacute. pag tinuloy-tuloy ko pa, baka ma-Claudine ko lang si Sir Raymart.


hindi ko maintindihan kung anong bliss ang nakukuha ng isang tao kapag nakikita nyang nagmamakaawa o nagpupumilit ang isang tao for his approval. in our case, kapag nagmamakaawa ang isang masahista na i-book sya ng client. kung ayaw or kung hindi pwede, it's easier to say "sorry, not now" or "sorry, not interested" kaysa naman papaasahin ka then in the end eh hindi naman matutuloy. one word... respect! mahirap ba talaga ibigay yun? kaysa naman puro reasons diba? i hope Sir Raymart realizes that in the future.

Reasons. Respect. or Rage. pick one...